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First time for everything

edited May 1 in Workshop
I have a test game, an experiment in the potential of surgacube for an amateur like me. This is the internet so, to be honest, I don't feel half as embarrassed having people read this than I normally would, feel free to be as critical as you like. A lot of code that is actually there in this game is custom from lots of research, the combat system, on the other hand, is an adapted form of a Harlowe system with lots of tweaks on my part. The game itself is a little resource management, a little rng. The core systems of leveling and healing come in the bounty tab (visible from your room) and the church(second link in the square.) The game is not finished, far from it, I am not likely to finish it and in the future, i hope to do better, I learned a lot from it and more from other projects, so I know I can. So give it a test, tell me what you like, what could be changed, what you dislike, and may my next try be better.
http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/6lyw5djmkueucox261j4qq/loa

Known errors (bugs); Grammar mistakes, Missingno ($Bounty.Name) enemy showing up, Events are not currently completed will fix that soon.(5/1/17)

Subject to edits

Comments

  • I promise to give it an hour of my time tomorrow and come back with impressions :)

  • Events(Quest) are not currently completed will fix that soon.(5/1/17) FIxed ish
    I promise to give it an hour of my time tomorrow and come back with impressions :)
    Awesome, look forward to it.

  • I gave it one or two whirls, here's some comments:

    1. I'd recommend you run through the text again (literally click through it), since there are some leftovers from the coding (the "negotiation" path with Grimlock for instance). I also caught a semicolon instead of a colon in the fight with the drunkdwarf (is it supposed to be one word?), and "enclycopedia" and "amatuer" on the title page and the sidebar. Generally, I think if you make a proofing copy and open it in a word processor with spell-check, most of these will fall away.

    2. In terms of writing -- I think the passages should either be shortened or broken up in more paragraphs. A lot of homogenous text in white on black, and on a largish monitor (аnd even on a phone) was difficult for me to read. If it were my text, I'd choose the former; just look for the most salient points the passage is trying to make and write them up, in no more than 100 words, for instance. It's a difficult, but very useful practice.

    3. Following from the above, I'd love more choices, and longer chains of choice-and-consequence, especially in the quests/encounters. And also, I'd make the combat mechanics transparent, so the player can see exactly what the numbers mean.

    4. I liked the color-coded phrases, reminded me of the roguelikes I play from time to time, as well as the random-generated text, always gives me a little thrill of excitement.

    So, that's it, I guess, just some notes and observations, not very review-y but I hope you get something out of it.

  • I gave it one or two whirls, here's some comments:

    1. I'd recommend you run through the text again (literally click through it), since there are some leftovers from the coding (the "negotiation" path with Grimlock for instance). I also caught a semicolon instead of a colon in the fight with the drunkdwarf (is it supposed to be one word?), and "enclycopedia" and "amatuer" on the title page and the sidebar. Generally, I think if you make a proofing copy and open it in a word processor with spell-check, most of these will fall away.

    2. In terms of writing -- I think the passages should either be shortened or broken up in more paragraphs. A lot of homogenous text in white on black, and on a largish monitor (аnd even on a phone) was difficult for me to read. If it were my text, I'd choose the former; just look for the most salient points the passage is trying to make and write them up, in no more than 100 words, for instance. It's a difficult, but very useful practice.

    3. Following from the above, I'd love more choices, and longer chains of choice-and-consequence, especially in the quests/encounters. And also, I'd make the combat mechanics transparent, so the player can see exactly what the numbers mean.

    4. I liked the color-coded phrases, reminded me of the roguelikes I play from time to time, as well as the random-generated text, always gives me a little thrill of excitement.

    So, that's it, I guess, just some notes and observations, not very review-y but I hope you get something out of it.

    That is what I wanted. This is not a full game, so yeah all those things are legit. Definitely noteworthy notes for another pet project.(Titles are the last thing on my mind to grammar check but yeah, grammar is a huge troublesome battle on my part. I thank you for your review .
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