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The Branch Breaks - A Short, Sad Story

cabelhighcabelhigh
in Workshop
And lots of alliterations! Anyway please check this out and let me know what you think! It's my first twine story so I'm looking for any feedback.

The Branch Breaks

Comments

  • ss slothmanss slothman
    How did you get all the text on one page?
      That was good for a first story, better than my first one anyways ;)
  • dacharya64dacharya64
    Wow, cabelhigh. This is great. I love the narrator's voice, and how everything is revealed a little at a time. It's succinct and really wonderfully done.

    One question though--where is the [[I'm still here]] link supposed to lead to? At least on my PC with chrome it directs to this link (https://1c8ea95fb313d02a3edfbdf083ef15fc6fe44322.googledrive.com/host/0B7AmhKjSSyZ7Ylg1WnA5SjNzY28/TheBranchBreaksPt2HTML.html) which is just a blank page. Judging by the URL, it looks like it should be part 2?
  • cabelhighcabelhigh
    dacharya64 wrote:

    One question though--where is the [[I'm still here]] link supposed to lead to? At least on my PC with chrome it directs to this link (https://1c8ea95fb313d02a3edfbdf083ef15fc6fe44322.googledrive.com/host/0B7AmhKjSSyZ7Ylg1WnA5SjNzY28/TheBranchBreaksPt2HTML.html) which is just a blank page. Judging by the URL, it looks like it should be part 2?


    Yeah I was worried that part wouldn't fly. Basically, I wanted some indication that that was the final section, the final link, and that clicking it takes you ambiguous blank screen. I've been trying to figure out a clearer way to do this (my original idea was, once you clicked the last link, all the other sections would fade away - but I seriously don't have the coding skills to pull that off) but what it basically means is that this is the real 'end.'

    Thanks for reading btw!
  • dacharya64dacharya64
    Right. I thought that the blank page might be intentional, but as is I find it a bit confusing... I really like the idea of the passages all fading out, and I'm sure someone on the forums knows how to make that happen. Have you tried posting in the Help section?
  • st33dst33d
    Yeah, I got a bit confused there too. Perhaps an image or something? It has to not look like a bug, and a blank page looks like a bug. Perhaps copy the code from the "restart story" button and fire that when you click the ending - but that will probably look like an error as well.

    Good work though! I often find the habit most Twine stories have of jumping to a new passage for extra detail and popping back really disorienting - this a really good contradiction of that.
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