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Truth be untold, my first Twine is a game about truth and lies
I wrote and finished my first Twine story for the latest Ludum Dare competition. It's done alright in the vote. Here it is if you are interested: Truth be untold (and here is the Ludum Dare page).
I think it is pretty complicated for a first game. There are barely any direct links between passages. The text of the passages is not hardwritten in each, but rather each passage defines a series of variables and datamaps that are then rendered by a couple of "engine" passages with a (display:) macro.
The "engine" itself has some complication. Each game scene allows you to choose between telling the truth or a couple of different lies. The engine calculates the result based on a random number, your global history of truth/lies and the NPC's degree of trust, prints the proper response and then chooses next passage with a certain degree of randomness.
My goal with this and future stories is to be both very literary and quite gamey at the same time. Here, the game part was not too successful because in the 48 hour Ludum Dare rush I couldn't write enough material to let the player realise that their actions make NPCs more or less trusting. So it all comes up a lot more random and shapeless than intended.
The story itself is not too bad but it was written in a rush and it didn't have a serious development, so I'm actually surprised that people seem to have liked it very much.
I think it is pretty complicated for a first game. There are barely any direct links between passages. The text of the passages is not hardwritten in each, but rather each passage defines a series of variables and datamaps that are then rendered by a couple of "engine" passages with a (display:) macro.
The "engine" itself has some complication. Each game scene allows you to choose between telling the truth or a couple of different lies. The engine calculates the result based on a random number, your global history of truth/lies and the NPC's degree of trust, prints the proper response and then chooses next passage with a certain degree of randomness.
My goal with this and future stories is to be both very literary and quite gamey at the same time. Here, the game part was not too successful because in the 48 hour Ludum Dare rush I couldn't write enough material to let the player realise that their actions make NPCs more or less trusting. So it all comes up a lot more random and shapeless than intended.
The story itself is not too bad but it was written in a rush and it didn't have a serious development, so I'm actually surprised that people seem to have liked it very much.
Comments
But I like your style. The text is very nice and readable. Even for me as a non-english speaker (what you can see from my writing ;] )
I reread you post once more and let me write one more comment. What I really like is the time flow inside of story. It is really great that you do not explain everything explicitly but you jump 7, 15 years ... whatever. By your writing style still enable the readers imagination to fill the gaps without difficulties. I'm really tired with recent stories - especially movies scripts - where the try to explain everything explicitly. Your story cover lifetime trough few strips of time. I appreciate it.
Thx and good luck with next projects.
I appreciate that. Most comments from Ludum Dare disliked exactly that, because it made them feel confused and unsure of the game's goals and progression. While I think the result is not too good in many ways, and that goals/gameplay mechanics/time flow/consequence of choices could be way better communicated to the players, I don't think that 7 year ellipses are one of the problems.