Whence Wildark - Reviews and comments please

mykael

First I must say that Twine is a damn nice story platform.

Starting to put a story together, got the first few passages online and looking for some feedback before I write to much more.

The story is Whence Wildark and can be found at http://mykael.neocities.org/WhenceWildark.html.

The story contains mild adult content and horror.

Morgan_R

So far so good, I'd say! Keep writing! ^_^

Sharpe

Looks like a great start! Can't wait for more!

Strangelander

Archaic English nitpick: "Whence" means "From what place" or "from where." Your title seems to mean "Where is Wildark?" which isn't the same. Otherwise, an interesting start. Oh, I'd also get rid of the colon in "Day: 1."

mykael

Thanks for the feedback.

I'll have to plead poetic license on the title until I can come up with a better one - which I'll probably have to write some more of the story to do...