I'm 4 chapters into an interactive romantic fantasy novel, and would really love some feedback on how it plays, whether I'm making stupid n00b mistakes, characters, writing, etc.
The art is lame I know -- does anyone have suggestions for free/low cost sources?
Game is here: http://strayheirs.neocities.org/
It includes mild sexual content.
Thanks in advance!
A few comments:
The first page should have buttons to skip ahead to the various chapters. However, I understand that this would be impossible if the chapters are not self-contained (i.e. there are variables that are carried between them)
In Chapter 2: "You feel yourself blush, remembering your daydream from just hours ago. In real life, he's far more frightening than you recalled -- and also far more magnetic. You lower your eyes to avoid meeting his."
This comment appears even if you did not actually make the choice that causes this daydream. This makes me believe that the chapters are self-contained. Is that true?
In Chaper 3: The battle with the wolves is kind of lame. The choices that are dangerous are really obvious. For instance, "hesitate", who would ever choose that? I understand that you do not want to have the player die arbitrarily, but why give them the choice at all?